Many things, lil time.
Everything have to be settled before December, every single thing that i wished for was actually so hard for me to reach.
Everything like you'd usually see on Tv show, in fairytales, along the river side, near the beach, in the wonderful church or a luxury hotel was actually not as easy as they looked like.
In need of whole large sum of cash, energy and determination to do so.
How do i make things better?
I feel so guilty watching him like this. He's stressed, he's losing grip, he's gonna explode any moment! Yet he's still holding on and find every possible ways.
While me this fucking useless piece of shit whom always only knows how to complain, demand and waste all the time fucking myself just did nothing.
I wondered why do i even have a brain in me?! And why is it unable to function.
I swear i tried to do something but as usual everything failed without fail.
I don't want to give him this kinda life, i don't want him to suffer with me.
He has been a good boy, a great boyfriend and i'm sure he'll make a wonderful husband.
It's all my fault.
