sex, my forte

2011-09-07T11:11:00.001+08:00

cause people hate me just the way i am

2011-09-07T11:07:00.003+08:00

i deserved to get slap in the face a million times.

2011-09-03T03:50:00.001+08:00

i miss eugene ho. (^.^)

12 Oct 09

2009-10-13T16:36:00.000+08:00

I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL!

10 Oct 09

2009-10-12T01:46:00.002+08:00

Exceptional.

It was like pathetic but it was the best time we had..

I just love you, no fucking reason why.

29 Sep 09

2009-09-29T00:53:00.002+08:00

Time flies.....

Reading through the previous post in my blog, i see and saw the changes in my life.
I treasure now.... =)

ILU...

23 Sep 09

2009-09-23T18:43:00.002+08:00

Many things, lil time.

Everything have to be settled before December, every single thing that i wished for was actually so hard for me to reach.
Everything like you'd usually see on Tv show, in fairytales, along the river side, near the beach, in the wonderful church or a luxury hotel was actually not as easy as they looked like.

In need of whole large sum of cash, energy and determination to do so.

How do i make things better?
I feel so guilty watching him like this. He's stressed, he's losing grip, he's gonna explode any moment! Yet he's still holding on and find every possible ways.

While me this fucking useless piece of shit whom always only knows how to complain, demand and waste all the time fucking myself just did nothing.

I wondered why do i even have a brain in me?! And why is it unable to function.
I swear i tried to do something but as usual everything failed without fail.

I don't want to give him this kinda life, i don't want him to suffer with me.
He has been a good boy, a great boyfriend and i'm sure he'll make a wonderful husband.

It's all my fault.

26 Aug 09

2009-08-26T11:54:00.001+08:00

I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don't care about clever I don't care about funny
I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them

And I'll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
'Cuz everyone knows that's how you get famous
I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror
I'm on the right track, yeah I'm on to a winner

I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
And when do you think it will all become clear?
'Cuz I'm being taken over by the Fear

Life's about film stars and less about mothers
It's all about fast cars and cussing each other
But it doesn't matter cause I'm packed in plastic
And that's what makes my life so fucking fantastic

And I am a weapon of massive consumption
And its not my fault it's how I'm programmed to function
I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror
I'm on the right track, yeah we're on to a winner

I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
And when do you think it will all become clear?
'Cuz I'm being taken over by the Fear

Forget about guns and forget ammunition
'Cuz I'm killing them all on my own little mission
Now I'm not a saint but I'm not a sinner
Now everything is cool as long as I'm getting thinner

I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
And when do you think it will all become clear?
'Cuz I'm being taken over by the Fear

Now, that's why i love this song! It has cool lyrics. =D

21 Aug 09

2009-08-21T22:05:00.008+08:00

Because i'm getting married.

This Winter.

13 July 09

2009-07-13T15:25:00.004+08:00

6 AM.

Send you off to the nation.

Please return him to me after two weeks.!

Dear Lord,

please bless my love ones to stay strong & be safe through his journey....

In the name of Jesus,

Amen.

12 July 09

2009-07-13T14:11:00.028+08:00

Someday s back, when you were still around here so close to me.

Someday i did this for you,

Someday we went for movie after work.

Someday we got something of our own.

Someday we went Vivo City.

Someday we saw a rainbow.

Someday we sat on the swing in a cafe & watched the sunset.

Someday this huge bug fell on you & got me so freak out while we were waiting for bus.

Someday we bought this candy from their empire.

Someday you bought this for me while i was away for a min.

Someday i bought you a new perfume.

Someday we had disgusting Korean food, & got tummy ache together.

Someday we wore couple shirt & noticed everyone was looking at us.

Someday you got a new phone & we tried out the camera on ourselves.

Someday i finally got a full collection after so many Kinder joy from you.

Someday we had Earthquake & i got brain freeze.

Someday i watched you eat pepper lunch when i was very hungry.

Someday we had supper at TCC.

We did everything together since that SOMEDAY we met.
If SOMEDAY we'll have to part, i'd rather die.

IMY.

17 Jun 09

2009-06-18T00:02:00.002+08:00

Romance.

I got Mr. Strong to hold me on tomorrow.

B wanted to surprise me by putting it on my bed with a lovely note, but romance was ruined by naughty girl. She told me there's something on my bed even before i realize it. -.-

It's still very romantic & sweet thou. I'm loving you more and more.! =)

I've got Mr. Strong to help Mr. Bump now. =)

16 Jun 09

2009-06-17T00:32:00.002+08:00

Off.

Pictures do the story...

P.s. I'm JEALOUS!!!!! Please stop texting my B at work!!!! GET YOUR FAT ASS TO WORK!!!!

CURSE YOU!!!!!

14 Jun 09

2009-06-17T00:21:00.002+08:00

Peek-a-boo!

Eh.....??!!! Hello!!!!
B came pick me up from work without telling me, SURPRISE!!!!!!!! =D
At first i was like thinking, oh you......
then realize there was no plans of you coming to pick me up from town...
That's why my reaction was not very big at that moment.

Fried rice for dinner.
Went SHELL to buy breakfast for the next day, & saw this huge BUMP!!!

Another surprise B bought it! OMG! i swear that smile on my face was not USUAL. classic.......... =)

Thank you for everything!!!! For surprise me at work, for huge bump!!!! =D

ILU.

12Jun 09

2009-06-12T18:29:00.006+08:00

Why...

How should I know rain comes again
Tell me why you're leaving me again
Please don't go stay here however
come back to me

How should I know rain comes again
Tell me why you're leaving me again
Please don't go now and forever
come back to me

I cannot breathe
I won't be healed
I want to see what I was
I must be blind
I want to get back to that light

You use to be there for us, how should i ever face you again.

You never care anymore.

11Jun 09

2009-06-12T14:56:00.006+08:00

This time,

I'll love you forever....
영원히 사랑할께...

10 Jun 09

2009-06-11T00:14:00.004+08:00

LORD.

Life is not as wonderful like what Jesus said.

Father is not like how teacher use to picture it to me.

I never regret hating you, you are just a piece of shit.

You were nothing like a DAD.

07 Jun 09

2009-06-07T23:22:00.001+08:00

Apologize.

I'm sorry, shouldn't make you wait.
Don't stress too much, i'll be there for you.

ILU.

06 Jun 09

2009-06-06T23:59:00.002+08:00

Future...

FERLYNN WILL WORK HARD NOW, FOR WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IN THREE YEARS TIME.

Trust me, you'll see
I'm nothing like another others....

01 Jun 09

2009-06-01T22:49:00.001+08:00

WORK.

GOOD LUCK FERLYNN!!!!!

misses B.

30 May 09

2009-05-30T19:42:00.003+08:00

Navigation failure moron.

If you realize you're lost into someone's profile, just simply close the window or click back!
Don't send irritating Msges to innocent people and insult them.

I don't ask about my BOYFRIEND past, so i don't know anything about his past.

Anyway what was worth in his past for me to find out?! " A WASTE OF TIME "

I seriously can't be bothered about what you're gonna bad mouth of whoever.

FUCK OFF!

Gonna find B, ciao... =)

29 May 09

2009-05-29T15:55:00.003+08:00

Rejoice both.

-For my lovely 2nd month with E. LOVES.

-For B's new job! =) And now i'll have to try harder to get a job too!
Oh shit, i'm way too far behind him. FERLYNN JY!

I said
alright alright alright
you make the calls tonight
and i surrender to your love.

27 May 09

2009-05-27T22:13:00.002+08:00

brings me to fantasy.

24 May 09

2009-05-25T16:43:00.000+08:00

STRESSFUL.

23 May 09

2009-05-25T16:08:00.020+08:00

Saturday with animals.

Not forgetting Naughty girl & Hwat Bf. =)

Pictures shall do the story telling, the day was just wonderful isn't it? =D

As usual Naughty was very naughty, B was very loving.

Ferlynn is a happy kid. =)

19 May 09

2009-05-19T13:32:00.004+08:00

Ferlynn has HORRIBLE FLAWS.

TOTALLY.

Pasta with bacon & asparagus.

THANKS BABY!!!

18 May 09

2009-05-19T03:58:00.002+08:00

Secret's over.

JAGA BEE!!!! =D & Caramel pudding choc.

Some days back, B had kawaii bento. =D

Sometime i wonder, why can't you feel my love when i'm already trying so hard?

Your expectation or i'm lousy? =(

I NEED ROMANCE LESSON. Anyone?

14 May 09

2009-05-15T01:09:00.002+08:00

I'm just a lil bit....

God bless the broken child, because i'm scared.

Caught in the middle of life.

06 May 09

2009-05-06T23:47:00.005+08:00

If it's broken, how far would i be....

Will i still be able to catch up?
I'm a sore loser, a person who drags everyone down.
Even on the day i was born, she died.
Everyone died because of me, everyone hates me.
I blew my life away, i ruined my future with my own hands.

I buried the love, and wonder if i could save it again.
Slowly watched it SCREWED me up.

Until the day i die, would you celebrate my death?

05 May 09

2009-05-05T16:34:00.001+08:00

Thanks but mind your own business.

Whatever it is, he's still my Boyfriend.

Whoever you are, you don't have to tell me how bad he was to you because he's good to me now.
Really thanks a lot for reminding me to be upright, because replying you might not be very glamorous.

I did not kill nor did i stole anything/anyone.
My conscious is clear.

So stop wasting effort reading my blog if you'd find my life irritating to you.

1 May 09

2009-05-05T16:27:00.004+08:00

Groceries...

Suppose to be at an interview but ended up shopping for snacks.

/With naughty girl & B.

Toys from Kinder Joy, Chupa Chupa & Mac..

Xiao bai was giving out nuggets to croc.
Fly wanted to try the nuggets too, but croc didn't want to share.
So fly had a fight with croc.
In the end ugly fly died.
End of story. =)

30 Apr 09

2009-04-30T18:42:00.003+08:00

The flower

This is how it looks like, people have been wondering....

Black Calla Arum Lily always my love. =)

29 Apr 09

2009-04-30T17:23:00.004+08:00

Letters to you.

On this night i was just bored and needed someone to chill out with.
I saw you online, we chatted, met up, caught a movie, & something happened.

You look typical, just like the others.
Thought you got what you wanted & you'll leave soon.
But i was wrong.

I called, we met up again.
You were so nice, so gentle but i was still afraid. I dare not be too close with you.
I don't know what was i afraid of, then i realize i was actually afraid of falling for you.

I held back, i was unsure but i was curious.
Someday, i finally asked and you said " YES i do, but i don't think it's time yet. "
I was so happy to hear your answer, i know i stand a chance now.

You let nature take it's course, & i was praying so hard.
I wanted you, wanted you to be here, wanted you to be mine, wanted you to be the only one.
Thou i was once told, " girls should not go for boys, they'll take you for granted because they know you love em more."

I do believe in that phrase, but i had no choice.
I know i really need to do something before it becomes too late for me to even tell you i love you.
I never wanna regret this.

Everything goes smoothly, i was very happy.
Very happy to be with you, very happy to have you.

Very slowly i get to know more about you, i get to see you show your emotions.
I try to understand you, i try to follow your foot steps.
As i learn more about you, i know my choice was wise.
You're so different from the others, so special.
I felt so safe with you, so loved, so appreciated, and never there was a guy treated me like the way you do.

I'm in love for a month now, & i'm still loving.....
I know i will treasure you. I love you.

Sincerely yours....

28 Apr 09

2009-04-29T17:24:00.002+08:00

Through the Monsoon.

ILU.

25 Apr 09

2009-04-25T23:44:00.005+08:00

Your tears fall in my sleep.

last light was out....

23 Apr 09

2009-04-25T23:28:00.004+08:00

So fine today....

B deferred his RT again, & we headed to town.

Yanfang caught up.

A show that worth every penny. =)

Bedok.

Ah nu.

As usual a SURPRISE!!! LOVE YOU!

The best toy from my collection of Kinder Joy.

My pimple burst. =(

Some stupid helpless gangster came up to B, "FIND TEA" .

All for today, god bless you.

20 Apr 09

2009-04-21T17:11:00.002+08:00

This was the past few days......

Sleep with me in my pool of blood.

17 Apr 09

2009-04-18T06:25:00.001+08:00

I LOVE EUGENE HO.

09 Apr 09

2009-04-11T19:20:00.003+08:00

Extracted...

Met up with Yanfang & her friend along with B.
Bedok, & last min plan ESTHER visited Yanfang too.
Dogs appeared at Bedok, so we moved to ECP.
Sudden situation at BQ, So we cabbed down.

And Dogs made me cried..... =(

ECP with B, Yanfang & Nana.

Brighten by the Moon light.

LIL BLUEY..

Good night. =)

07 Apr 09

2009-04-07T22:36:00.001+08:00

Home..

Came back home to BABY SIT lil miss Medeleine Ong.

Found my all time fav!!!!

My lover is a rocker.

04 Apr 09

2009-04-07T08:54:00.003+08:00

Clarity...

Suppose to work together with B today, but ended with the word FUCK up.
We went down to the place &......

1st.
They said not hiring, so B called his friend to check again.
So the son [the guy who hired us] finally inform the parents.

2nd.
They said cannot put B to work outside, because of his TATTOOS.
Wth, B already informed them before starting work.

3rd.
When everything is already done and we were ready to work, they suddenly change their mind and say they only need 1 so which means i can't work. -.-'' & so B called his friend again.

4th.
Okay this time round we both can work, but....... only for 2 hours!!!!

It's totally FUCKUP so B & i decided to forget about this whole fucking incident.
& we ended up not working again......

The day was totally destroyed....... =(

I am a Fucking Lucky Girl,

B surprised me for bringing me to this very "ME" cafe to have desserts..

Miss Clarity Cafe.

He bought this for me. =)

Let's end the day with this ONCE IN A BLUE MOON face above.....

You made my day and so I LOVE YOU....

02 Apr 09

2009-04-02T20:55:00.004+08:00

I screwed it up...

The tears won't stop flowing, unless.........

All could say is just SORRY, sorry & sorry...
I didn't mean it, i didn't mean to piss you off.

I wasn't doing it right, i wasn't saying the right things i know it all.
I know you needed me, but i just don't know how to get to you. Afraid i might be irritating.
I thought too much, too much about how you might think about me.
Trying too hard to be the best for you, till i don't even feel myself.
I forgot how i used to be myself, when we can chat freely.

I appreciates a lot, at times i mind and got jealous a lot.
But i'm just too quiet, too quiet for anyone in this world to even read me.

In fact i really do CARE a lot, i'm worried & i'm sad when you're pissed.
I just don't know how to react to it, i don't know what to do when you're pissed.
I'm too afraid that i might make things worst.

I did NOT take you for granted, i did not! And i was not lying when i said I LOVE YOU.
Nothing of it was fake, not even a single word.

I just need to know how? How to show it correctly...

01 Apr 09

2009-04-02T07:35:00.003+08:00

Failed.

KELLY really brought me out of this fucking world for a moment.

Alicia.

I feel awkward.
Was it too early for us to start? Am i doing the right thing?

It feels like there are still something lingers in you, which i have a feeling of i know what was it but wasn't really sure.
Have you really got over it?
Are you really ready to start a new relation with me?

I'm afraid, i feel WRONG.
It makes me a bad person.

But i really don't wanna lose what i tried so hard to get...
what should i do?

31 Mar 09

2009-04-01T07:28:00.012+08:00

Morning glory, what's the story.....

Woke up, had Japanese breakfast made by the greatest guy in my life. =)
Surprisingly he wanted to bring me out for movies, so we headed down to TOWN.

Touching.

Lunch.

This was mine!!! Caramel flavoured ice cream!! it makes me happy when ever i get to eat ice cream. =)

A lil problem with KELLY, & went home in the morning.

Nothing was feeling right, nothing was alright for you since morning.
I can sense pressure from you, thou you were still smiling away to me.
I may not be knowing exactly what's the feelings, but i swear i tried my best to understand.
And yes, you made the right decision like a real MAN would be there to end what he started.

I truly appreciate every single thing you'd do, thou i might be emotionless at times.
I just want you to know i'll be there for you.

Like i said, I MAY NOT BE THE BEST FOR YOU BUT PROMISE THAT YOU'LL STAY.

ILU....... =)

29 Mar 09

2009-03-30T20:32:00.002+08:00

Birthday.

To Katong for Laksa with EUGENE! Oh no, should say with BF now! =) yay!

And when we headed back to Bedok, to my surprise.

I got my 5th cake from Shirlene.

OMG i'm so gonna have such huge huge PHOBIA towards cakes. lol.

Anyway thanks ppl! THANK YOU! =D

28 Mar 09

2009-03-30T20:19:00.006+08:00

JB.
KELLY was with me when we were on our way to JB. FLOAT..... =)
Went to M'sia with E & friends, we were too late for counting down to my Birthday. So.....

2nd Birthday cake from EUGENE.

Finally back to sg,

3rd cake from EUGENE. ( Actual one)

My wish came true even before i wish for it! Amazing uh?! hahah

ILU! I SWEAR! =)

Saw that expression of mine? I just found out i'm gonna get "BLUEBERRY YOGURT CAKE AS FACIAL FOAM" haha!

I got a huge Bump on my head, THANKS AH! EUGENE! LOL.

This is BABY, Hui ling's birdy. =)

Went home & SURPRISE!!!

Here's my 4th cake, from my sisters.

Present from Naughty girl & EUGENE!

Thank you all so much! <3>

27 Mar 09

2009-03-30T20:16:00.002+08:00

Town with E.

Thanks mom & grandma for the gifts. =)

The unborn.
Very boring show.

back to Bedok. =)

26 Mar 09

2009-03-30T15:29:00.005+08:00

KELLY day.

An advance birthday cake from EUGENE.

25 Mar 09

2009-03-26T03:57:00.002+08:00

Weird feeling.

Been sticking around for more than a week, and it's so weird to be home like that today.

GOOD NIGHT! REST WELL. =)

Ferlynn thinks that she's starting to be a lil too possessive, which is not a good thing. =(

I kinda miss KELLY. =(

24 Mar 09

2009-03-24T19:29:00.001+08:00

In Loving Memories of
UNCLE SAMMY.

REST IN PEACE.

='(

21 Mar 09

2009-03-22T11:08:00.004+08:00

Floating Saturday...

Last night KELLY knocked on my door, i let her in and she brought me to the sky. =D

Blue eyes place with em.... until morning.

Thanks E for the sweets! =)

P.s. You fall asleep!!!! =(

20 Mar 09

2009-03-21T18:25:00.000+08:00

BREAKFAST WAS SUPERBLY NICE!!!! I'M TOUCHED. =D
LOVE YOU!

19 Mar 09

2009-03-21T18:21:00.002+08:00

A day not at hom.e.

Watermelon lollipop. =D

I'll sleep tight beside you, Good night. =)

18 Mar 09

2009-03-21T18:13:00.002+08:00

FUN.

-East coast.
-Bedok.
-Met Eugene,
-Shirlene & Blue eyes.
-Chill
-Morning, Back to my house.

Blue eyes, Shirlene, Ferlynn, Eugene.

Sleep tight beside me, Good night. =)

=)

2009-03-19T23:00:00.001+08:00

Which Zodiac Are You??

VIRGO (The One that Waits)
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only.

SCORPIO (The Addict)
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring.

LIBRA (The Lame One)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you wanna mess with... You might end up crying ...

ARIES (The Liar)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud..

AQUARIUS (Does It In The Water)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out.

GEMINI (Irresistible)
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very Good in the you know where ... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

LEO (The Lion)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.

CANCER (The Cutie)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.

PISCES (The Partner for Life)
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but In a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.

CAPRICO RN (The Passionate Lover)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck

TAURUS (The Tramp)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!

SAGITTARIUS (The Promiscuous One)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with, you might end up crying.

17 Mar 09

2009-03-18T06:45:00.000+08:00

Dear E,

Stay with me,
Or watch me bleed,
I need you just to breathe.

I know I'm not the best for you,
But promise that you'll stay.
'Cause if I watch you go,
You'll see me wasting, you'll see me wasted away.